WAKE UP POTTER
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO
So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA
i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space
While my son Henry is very bright, he is also three and a half years old, so he rarely says things that really surprise me because I taught him all of the words he knows.
Stephen Colbert reading Anthony Weiner’s sext messages.
in seventh grade my girlfriend wrote me a note to break up with me and i acted like i didnt find it and acted completely normal all day and sat with her at lunch and then at the end of the day i broke up with her in front of our whole math class and she said I BROKE UP WITH YOU FIRST and i said wow thats pathetic and nobody believes that and she cried and i watched gay porn in 7th grade anyway so the joke is double on her